The Knot of the Self

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There is a section of the Surangama sutra called “Instructions For Practice” where Ananda, one of the Buddha’s chief disciples, says that we trainees, Ananda included, in all our confusion and distress, are like a knot and he asks the Buddha to explain how we might untie that knot. Reading this discussion – which is about a bit more then just this aspect of practice – it struck me how one important dimension of doing practice, really is just like untying a knot.

In the discussion, the Buddha takes up a scarf and ties six successive knots in it, “… one on top of the other…”. He says that we are like that scarf and shows that you can’t untie the knot (even though there are six successive knots, since they are tied one on top of another, they look like one knot) just by pulling on either end of the scarf. The Buddha asks Ananda, since you can’t untie the knot by pulling on one end or the other, how would you untie the knot?

Ananda says “… you must pull on the scarf from within each knot. Then they will come undone.”
The Buddha continues by advising Ananda to choose one sense faculty – each of the six knots represents one of the six sense faculties: eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, and mind –  and work on untying that faculty first. (In the zen tradition, we focus mainly on the sense faculty of the mind.) The Buddha says that because the knots were tied one at a time, they must be untied one at a time and that when we work on untying this knot of the self, we come to understand and develop a deep kind of patience through our application of meditation.

So, there are a few of important points here. First, we as human beings are like a tangle of successive knots; it may just be six, or it may be six hundred – for me it often feels like six hundred – but either way, our project, or, as I say, one dimension of our project, as Dharma practitioners, is to untie those knots.

Second, we can really only untie the knot that is right in front of us. We might be aware that there is some really vexing aspect of our life that causes a lot of difficulty, but we can’t quite get to it: we can only work on what is in front of us right now. Untying the knot in front of us, will help to clarify the knot untying process and help us in the future with the next knot.

Third, in order to untie a knot it doesn’t really help to pull from either end. I think of pulling from either end as either looking for the solution in external circumstances (blaming them?) or through judging ourselves. Instead of pulling from either end, we must pull from the center, we must sit still – sitting still is our powerful way of pulling on the knot – right in the middle of the thing, right as it is arising.

And then fourth, there is the matter of patience. In some of the translations of this sutra, there is a technical phrase “the patient endurance of the uncreate” or anutpattika-dharma-ksanti which can also be described as a deep faith in Unborn reality. This is described as the end result of untying our knots but we also partake of a little bit of that patient faith when we sit still in the midst of our suffering. When we voluntarily decide to accept, sit still in, or pull from the center of, whatever suffering we encounter in our lives, we are giving expression to a little of that patient endurance of the uncreate. We can decide to patiently bear what comes our way and when we do that voluntarily, with even a little brightness, we are giving expression to a little bit of what we aspire towards.

Somehow that voluntarily part is important in this: we have to choose to do this practice. Rev. Master Jiyu used to quote that line, “the Buddhas do but point the way, thou must go alone” and described Buddha Nature as waiting patiently for us to turn toward it. It is excellent, even essential, for us to practice with good friends and teachers; it is mildly ironic that one of the most important characteristics of good Dharma friends and teachers is that they point us back to ourselves. The path of the Dharma is right beneath our own feet and we can walk that path. We don’t have to get a new life, we can learn to patiently work with the life we have been given.

(If you are interested in the whole discussion, it is in chapter 5 section 3 and 4 of the Surangama sutra; I used the Buddhist Text Translation Society version. Also, Dharma Master Sheng Yen has an excellent commentary located here.)

Finding Our Spiritual Purpose

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– By: Rev. Leon, 3/1/2017

There is a sort of technical Japanese Buddhist phrase Shoho Jisso (諸法実相) which could be translated as something like “the true form of all things, as they are, expresses the Truth” and it is related to the term Nehan Jakujo (涅槃寂静) which could be translated as “within the Awakening of the Buddha, lies complete Tranquility”.

Each one of us, just as we are, even without knowing it, reflects the Tranquility of the Buddha. This is true no matter what: no matter whether we are a Buddhist or not; no matter whether we are good or evil (although, the more we are in harmony with this Tranquility, in a kind of organic way, the more we will tend to the good, which is the promoting of non-suffering); no matter whether we are aware of it or not. This Tranquility is always present even though we may not be able to see or recognize it. It is constantly present and there are clues or breadcrumbs leading to it sprinkled all throughout our lives: whenever we are moved by compassion, wherever growth or transformation appear, wherever love shows its face but also wherever suffering shows itself and, maybe most importantly, whenever impermanence appears, this Tranquil Mind beckons to us. It is constantly calling out to us.

We have a choice in each moment of our lives: will I turn within and listen for that calling; will I answer it? Sometimes this calling and answering is momentous and large, sometimes it is small and mundane, but it seems that it almost never shouts at us; there are almost never flashing lights and sirens or big signs. But it is there: the Tranquil Mind of the Buddha is in us and is quietly calling to us.

(It might be useful to point out that sometimes, when the consequence of our actions, or just the consequence of living in a very big and impersonal world, come to fruition, it can feel like we are being shouted at or pounded upon – and sometimes this is literally true – but this is slightly different from the calling I am talking about, even though that calling is present here as well.)

For me, it is the purpose of my life to listen for and follow that calling, that appearance of the Truth, and to live out that calling and answering. Although I suppose it is true that I have always done my best to follow that calling, (and it seems to me that on some level it is true that all beings are doing their best to follow it, no matter how confused we might be or how misguided we are in what we think this means), it is also true that at a certain point I made (we can all make) the deliberate decision to actively pursue this calling.

I made the decision to actively take up the project of training myself to see and hear the clues leading to the Truth at the heart of things, and to honestly look at and transform all the ways that I cover up the appearance of these clues.

You might think that this decision took the form of my becoming a monk, but really I made this decision well before I became a monk and I know that, should I stop being a monk, I will continue to try my best to follow this intention.

Having the spiritual purpose of finding, exploring and living from the Truth does not require any particular form.

Following this life of seeking the Truth and trying to live from it, did lead me to making a formal commitment to practicing and keeping the precepts, somehow this commitment has helped to deepen and make my intention more substantial and concrete.

And following this life has helped me to uncover my personal need and wish to become a monk. Being a monk is now my way of expressing this life, but of the many people I know, and know of, who are attempting to live out this intention or this kind of intention, most are not monastics.

In our tradition, we practice the listening for this question and answer in the activity of zazen. We ask and answer this question in the simple moment by moment awareness of mindfulness informed by the question “what is good to do now?” and in trusting ourselves to see what needs doing and to do it. We ask and answer this question in trusting ourselves to recognize (or learn to recognize) when we are clinging to some form of selfishness which gets in the way of doing what needs doing, and to work toward transforming that selfishness.

In speaking about this, it seems all dramatic and highfalutin, but really in practice it is down to earth and ordinary, a bit like finding, with our own feet, the concrete sidewalk on a foggy day, or finding the stair rail in a shadowy stairway. I wake up in the morning and feel like rolling over and going back to sleep: “what is good to do?” It is a normal day, I am healthy and there are things I need to do, I know from experience that I want to avoid laziness and indolence, so I kindly let go of the impulse to sleep in and I get up. Or, I’ve been up all night vomiting or whatever and I recognize that the illness isn’t over so I go back to sleep.

With this intention to find and listen to the Truth to the best of our ability, to practice the letting go of meditation, to ask the question “what is good to do, right now?” we invite the Tranquil Mind of the Buddha to become a part of our lives right here and now.

Making and Backsliding On Resolutions

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(To see the whole February 2017 Newsletter, go here.)

At this time of year it is traditional, in Chinese temples and at many OBC temples, to celebrate the Festival of Maitreya Bodhisattva (on the Lunar New Year in Chinese temples and at the secular New Year in OBC temples). Maitreya, who’s name means something like “the friendly one who possesses loving-kindness” is venerated as the Bodhisattva who is said to be in line to be the next Buddha of this world. Maitreya appears in many places throughout the Buddhist canon, and there is an interesting story about him in the beginning of the Lotus Sutra.

It is said that Maitreya, in a former existence, was a bodhisattva in training named Fame Seeker who was “…greedily attached to the development of gain, and though he read and recited many sutras repeatedly, none of them penetrated and stuck, for he forgot and lost almost all. So he was named Fame Seeker. This man also, because he had planted many roots of goodness, was able to meet innumerable hundred thousand myriad kotis of Buddhas, whom he worshiped, revered, honored, and extolled”.

I suppose he was called Fame Seeker because he was all caught up in his concerns about what others thought of him and, like many of us, let those thoughts get in the way of doing something a bit more substantial in his life. I always quite appreciate this aspect of Maitreya’s story and find it encouraging. Here is the great Maitreya, living out his life as a mostly perfected Celestial Bodhisattva there in the Tushita heaven and he once was a regular human being who I can relate to.

It is, of course, excellent to make and follow through on our various intentions to help ourselves and those around us and one thing a story like this helps me to work on, is letting go of the self-judgement and recrimination that arises in my mind when I backslide.

Sometimes, because of that judgement, a kind of despairing voice arises asking “what is the point in making vows and resolutions that I will most likely fail at?” But the thing is, like Maitreya, we are also doing other things which have merit and those things will eventually lend their help in overcoming our obstacles, helping us follow through on our resolve. Making a resolve, even if we fall down, generates its own merit which will bear fruit in our future success if we do not give up.

As Dogen says, our eventual success is built upon a thousand failures.