(Follow this link to see the April 2023 Priory Newsletter where this was recently published.)

Fixing and air leak at a recent work day.

There is a story I heard once about how the Buddha, hearing reports that a local king was preparing to go to war with a neighboring kingdom, wanted to do something to help. Because he had known the father of this local king, the Buddha went to talk with him to see if he could persuade him to leave off his intention toward war. Even after trying a few times, the Buddha was not able to convince the king and the war proceeded, creating much destruction and death.

Depending on our view on what or how the Buddha was or should be, we might hear such a story and wonder whether the Buddha was really all that he was made out to be? He is said to have been perfect in knowledge and conduct as well as omnipotent, but he seems to have failed here; because of this, we might wonder whether what he taught and practiced might also be flawed?

Really though, what did the Buddha teach? And, just because the Buddha had human limits, should we doubt him and the practice we encounter in the world today? I mean, the practice that we encounter in the world today is also practiced and passed on by limited human beings.

One time, someone asked me, relative to my ability to help another person, whether I thought I was sufficient to the job. They asked this with a little derision in their voice like, if I answered yes, it would confirm their view that I was excessively full of myself. I can’t remember how I answered the question in the moment, but I could have easily agreed with them: no, the “I” that they were asking about is not sufficient to the task of helping someone else to deal with suffering. And, I feel that this is in accord with what the Buddha taught. Even though this is so, I am also confident that practicing the Dharma and going to the Three Treasures for help, will help us with our suffering and that it is a true path to find liberation.

If we think that the Buddha or one of his disciples appears in the world as a Savior who will take away our suffering, then we will be disappointed, even though sometimes the Buddha is referred to as the savior of humans. Although the Buddha had many skills and virtuous characteristics, he does not function as anything other than a teacher who can show us how to practice. Because of this, and to our great benefit, it does not matter if the Buddha made mistakes or had limitations. He saves us not because he is perfect in the way we might like him to be, but because he shows us how to practice. He shows us how to let go of the self and find the Deeper Matter, the Buddha Nature within.

In one sense, the Buddha functions like the coach of an elite athlete; the coach doesn’t need to be as good at the chosen sport as the athlete, to be of help to the athlete. The coach just needs to understand the sport and know how to communicate that knowledge.

Imagine for a minute that we are a wrestler. And imagine that our coach, who once was a champion wrestler themselves, requires us to run a lot of laps and wind-sprints. Since the coach doesn’t run wind-sprints and, strictly speaking, running and the moves involved in wrestling seem to have little in common, we might doubt that the coach knows what they are talking about. Especially if we do not see the value of endurance and do not like to run. We might feel it isn’t fair that they don’t have to run but we do. This can get in the way of our success as a wrestler.

Similarly, the Buddha, or our teacher, or just life itself, might tell us that we have a particular attachment to some thing. We see that our teacher is a human being with faults and shortcomings and, because we like that thing that we are attached to, and do not want to give it up, we might doubt that the teacher really knows what they are talking about in suggesting that it might help us to give up that thing. We might think that they can’t see clearly.

If we stop at the place where we think the teacher, or the Buddha, or life itself, is just wrong-headed about the matter, it may well impede our progress in the way. Instead, we might more profitably ask ourselves if there is some truth in what the teacher, or the Buddha, or the rest of life itself, is pointing out to us? Certainly, if we are suffering, then there is more we can let go of so, maybe it is possible that there is truth? Our insistence on holding onto a thing, or idea, or way of looking at things, can be hard to see and it can persist for a very long time; if we continue to run up against the Three Treasures in some way then, perhaps there is something we are not seeing clearly? No matter how skillful the Buddha or the Three Treasures are, if we don’t actually put the teaching into practice, then we will just continue to suffer.

In another sense, their is something much more going on with the Buddha and his disciples and with a spiritual teacher and their students then just dealing with the right and wrong aspects of training. A Buddhist teacher needs to understand how to practice and how to communicate that practice and they also need to actually be doing the practice to the best of their ability. Although it is very important for all of us to practice as much of the Dharma as we can, the part that I am thinking of here, is the practice of letting go of the self. It is the letting go of the self that allows for the presence of the Greater Thing in our interactions: this presence is what allows for the transformation of our self and our suffering and is of enormous benefit.

But it is not enough for us for only the teacher to let go of the self: we can’t rely on the selflessness of the Buddha, or our teacher, to be the solution to the problem of our suffering. We have to do the work of letting go of our own self. That the Buddha “appeared in the form and figure of a human being,” makes this point very clearly. At the very least, that the Buddha died, means that we must do the practice for ourselves, since he is no longer here to fix the world for us, if he ever was able to fix the world for us. And I think the opening story shows that he was not.

As long as I think of the problems and suffering of my life as evils to be fixed or gotten rid of by a technique or procedure enacted by a self then I will never be sufficient to solve my own suffering, let alone help someone else to solve theirs. If, instead, we think of our suffering as a thing which we each can learn to practice with, when a monk or teacher shows up with the offering of letting go of the self and being willing to help with the ongoing learning of how to practice, then there is sufficiency in the situation. Of course, there is also sufficiency if they don’t show up.

We each will always need to do things to respond to what arises in our lives and the self that responds to these things is sometimes sufficient and sometime insufficient. While that self won’t permanently go away (even when we let go of it) we can find and know the relief from suffering as described by the Buddha by letting go of the self and looking more deeply into what is really going on in our lives.

This is what Dogen is talking about in the opening to his chapter called Genjo-Koan or “the Problem of Everyday Life.” (1)

Delusion, enlightenment, training, life, death, Buddhas and all living things [selves and there limitations and shortcomings (LK)] are in existence when there is Buddhism; none of the above exist when all is within the Truth [when all is within the perfection of the Buddhamind, (LK)]; since the Way of the Buddha transcends unity and duality all the above [and the limited small self and the Greater Self, (LK)] exist; whilst we adore flowers they wither; weeds grow strong whilst we long for their destruction. When we wish to teach and enlighten all things by ourselves we are deluded [we are inadequate and insufficient, (LK)]; when all things teach and enlighten us [when we let go of the small self and do what needs to be done, (LK)] we are enlightened. To enlighten delusion is to become Buddha; most living things are deluded within enlightenment. Some are enlightened within enlightenment; others deluded within delusion. There is no need to know that one is identical with Buddha when Buddha is truly Buddha, for a truly enlightened Buddha expresses his Buddhahood in his daily life [just by doing their very best to live and practice and not by trying to be perfect, (LK)]. To observe objects and voices with complete awareness of body and mind is very different from seeing a reflection in a mirror or the moon reflected in water; even if you see one side of something the other will still be in shadow.

When one studies Buddhism one studies oneself; when one studies oneself one forgets oneself; when one forgets oneself one is enlightened by everything and this very enlightenment breaks the bonds of clinging to both body and mind not only for oneself but for all beings as well. If the enlightenment is True, it wipes out even clinging to enlightenment, and therefore it is imperative that we return to, and live in, the world of ordinary [people (LK)].

So, in answer to the question “am I good enough?” I would say, sometimes I am and sometimes I am not. Because I have the experience of letting go of the self (I can let go of the “I”), I know that fundamentally there is adequacy. And further, because I know this adequacy of “forgetting the self,” and also, when I don’t remember this “forgetting the self” I can have faith in it, I can accept and bear the consequences of both “good enough” and “not good enough.”

(1) “Genjo-Koan (The Problem of Everyday Life,” of the Shōbōgenzō, in Zen is Eternal Life by  by Rōshi P.T.N.H. Jiyu-Kennett, Shasta Abbey Press 1999, p 205